Meet Ellen, one of our Big Sisters
“Even before puberty I was very anxious and lacked a lot of body confidence so it was difficult for me to engage in traditional forms of exercise.”
Meet Ellen, a 19 year old who hasn’t let her disability hold her back from enjoying the benefits of physical activity.
Tell us a bit about yourself.
Hi! My name is Ellen - I am 19 years old and I have been horse riding since the age of 4. I was born disabled with Bilateral Talipes - or Clubfeet (a severe deformity of the foot) and they have been surgically corrected over a number of years and operations. I am now fully mobile and enjoy sport and activities like everyone else , however I sometimes have to adapt exercises to help reduce pain and fit to my abilities.
What was your relationship with exercise like when you were younger?
Difficult. Even before puberty I was very anxious and lacked a lot of body confidence so it was difficult for me to engage in traditional forms of exercise. I used to think it was almost a punishment for being overweight or taller than all my peers and I used my disability to rationalise why I couldn't exercise normally. In P.E at primary school I would always try to join in but because I wasn't as able-bodied as the rest of the class, I saw myself as a bit of ‘the sore thumb’. However, what I didn’t realise when I was younger was that the horse riding that I did was STILL exercise! So looking back, I did enjoy exercise, when it wasn’t branded as ‘exercise’.
How did puberty affect your relationship with exercise?
I hit puberty very early, to add to the mix that I’ve mentioned above! I went to a performing arts school and during years 7 and 8 our uniform was a leotard. I found I was so self-conscious, as I know a lot of my other peers were (remember no matter what your body is like everyone has insecurities and wearing a leotard is definitely something that will help dig them up). However, I still really enjoyed exercise outside of school (horse riding) and I didn’t find puberty negatively impacted it as I have always had such a positive experience with it.
What advice would you give to someone who’s going through puberty?
Puberty is tough for everyone, even girls who you presume to ‘have got off lightly’ with the effects of puberty are going to be going through their own difficulties at this time. I think if I were to go through the process again, I would try to be as positive about it as possible. Obviously, not all of it is fun, like getting your period, or the negative feelings and thoughts you may experience, but puberty is such a big milestone to meet. It is one that is pushing you forward into a new era in life. New experiences, new beginnings, it is so exciting! Rather than trying to fight the effects of puberty, in the most non ‘cringey’ way try to ride the wave. Take the ups with the downs, the good with the bad, support your friends and just know that everything will calm down very soon.
When did you start to exercise more regularly?
It took me a very long time to start exercising more regularly, and I wish I had the confidence to start at a younger age. Lockdown was the time when I truly found the type of exercise for me, the one I enjoyed, where I got most sweaty and when I would finish my session on such a high and with a feeling of invincibility. I tried out a type of exercise called Animal Flow and now almost 2 years later I now flow 3 or 4 times a week. Animal Flow (AF) is a ground-based movement that is meant to challenge your balance, endurance, flexibility and power. If you haven’t heard of it, look it up on YouTube and give it a go, it is so much fun (and sweaty).
What advice would you give to someone who’s starting out with their exercise/sports journey?
Just go for it! What have you got to lose? If you think you don’t have the fitness levels to keep up, then just know everyone starts from somewhere. I am by no means very fit, but I stay active, and more importantly, I enjoy staying active and my fitness is always improving.
What advice would you give to someone struggling with their confidence?
I don’t believe that there is one linear answer to this question as everyone's struggles with confidence are different. For me the confidence I lacked was in my physical appearance, my fitness ability and I was always hyper aware of what I thought people thought about me.
Over the last two or three years I have grown in confidence massively but if I really think about what I have done to aid this growth, it’s that I became active! I became confident in my ability about what I can do and stopped comparing myself to others (it did help that I chose a pretty niche activity to be involved with). I also feel better in myself, I have way more energy and even though my physical body hasn’t really changed a huge deal I feel so much more comfortable in my own skin. So there is no secret to growing confidence, it's about rationalising your thoughts and trying to actively make positive changes to help yourself.
What advice would you give people with a disability who are worried about how this might affect their opportunity to engage in exercise?
We are so lucky to now live in a world where there are SO many options for everybody so no matter what your ability is, there will be something out there for you. I’ve recently been looking at signing up for a trampoline dance workout, not your typical HIIT workout but something which I know I will be able to do with my disability and something that I think I will enjoy. If you find something you enjoy then find a way to get involved, whether that is adapting the sport, finding a group of people with similar abilities to you or just giving it a good go. You don’t have to be the best at it, but as long as it puts a smile on your face then you are on to a winner!
Start your journey
Ready to get started? Take a look at how Big Sister can help you navigate your journey through exercise and puberty with free resources and information on activities in your area.